It’s 6am when the alarm did his job.
I was like undertaker with his usual sit up thing *only with a smile.
I went to the frig, and saw mom’s note in it.
“do your best son”. Was a heck of a breakfast! Mom’s trying to give her best to give me the energy and the mood I will need for today. I should give my best too.
I won’t let her down.
My bro gave me this instruction:
“Be late to her. – she’s a very special person, all her life she’s been treated as a star. That’s why…she expects you to wait for her. And once you’re late, she’ll gonna think there’s plenty of things in your mind other than her. She will be trying to get your attention from then on.”
Well said my brother. That I will do.
Hmm. I wonder if an hour of late will be enough?
That being said is what I did.
I’m 1 hr late from the set time when I arrived.
I saw no one there…I was like:
“Huh? where is she? Did she grew tired of waiting and decided to leave? The hell! I shouldn’t have listen to my stupid brother’s advice!”
I was like shouting there like “Shiiiiittt!!!” and stuffs until.
“I’m sorry I’m late, I admit it I’m an hour and a half late…have you gone mad waiting for me? *laughs soflty* cos seriously…you looked stupid shouting.”
My head, slowly turning from the direction of her voice. After seeing her a song played in my mind
i’ve been waiting for you~all my life for somebody who…makes me feel the way when I am around you.. blah blah blah.~~~
“boys next door…” I was a complete bastard too say the band who performed that song.
“huh?..have you been drinking? haha” darn .. I made her laugh again.
“g-g-gugh.” I have plenty to say but the words won’t come out straight.
“Just ask me to sit down. Tough
“o-ohh. Have a sit, my apologies.” [funny, I remembered I should be the one to make her wait.]
We’ve met privately. In one of her favorite Malls she said.
People we’re not allowed to interrupt us in anything so I think I can be worryless.
But those people’s eyes…staring at us were really bothering.
“so…now that you’ve met me, what will be the next thing for you?, I mean you’ve became famous, way better than I thought you will… anyways, you were great out there. It was crazy, seeing you’re band in the commercial. Very wacky…”call me.” Hahaha.”
“tss…of course the next thing I will do is to see you again…and see you again some more, so on. The band, it will stay. We’re like brothers, we understand each other’s feelings. They respect my goal. And that is to be with you…hard lady.” I’m so glad I can say things truthfully to her.
“you sure is a nice talker. Silly, you’re making my heart beat faster.”
“w-well, I’m not really good with speaking. It just so happens that this is the first time I got to talk to you heart to heart. I mean, you won’t ask for my help this time and you won’t run away like the last time we’ve met. So…I guess I just have to say to you things that comes out from my heart, even though how stupid it may turn out to be.”
[Damn straight, exactly how I feel.]
“are you nervous?.. you don’t have to be. Hmm, know what? Why don’t you just treat me as ordinary as I can be. Just imagine like….like…”I’m not special” if I really am…”
[it’s easy for you to say that, how the can I think of you as an ordinary person? I can’t see someone like you buying fish balls in the streets. If that’s what you’re saying, dammit.]
“that I can’t do.”
“give me one reason why you can’t?” she’s still with that smile. It was so bullying me.
I have to overcome that… have to say something awesome…
“coz you’re my next girlfriend, dammit.” Nailed it.
She stopped for a while, I thought she became angry. I was ready to apologize when I see that her face was…red…
“L-look what you’ve done. I’m so blushing right now. *sighs* I guess I couldn’t hide it anymore. Tss…My heart beat, it’s way to faster than it was before… I’m afraid I may not be able to catch it anymore”
“don’t be afraid…I’m a NURSE = )”. I hold her hands just like that. I was looking cool, but deep inside I was really nervous.
I’ve been great! Mom’s gonna be proud of me.
All my hard work has paid off. *teary eyes.
“h-hey are you crying?, thought you’re a tough guy. Haha..” so she recovered from blushing.
“I’m not crying! My eyes, they just can’t take what they’re seeing right now. They’re seeing such beauty that they’ve became confused if it’s real or not.. t-they just, sweat..”
Blah, didn’t I tell you my mind won’t work well in front of her.
“didn’t knew that eyes do sweat. I’m loving it, you’re spontaneous mindless speaking. Haha”. She always ends her statement with a laugh.
“tss. Stop bullying me with you’re smile. I’m collapsing dammit.”
“Hey, you said you’re a nurse! You might as well treat you’re self for good, silly. Haha”
[just like what I’ve said, she always end her statement with a laugh. Usually, girls laughs before saying anything so that they’re voice will be clear. But she, she tries to hold that laugh til she finish her statement. She doesn’t care what her voice will sound. Hmm, but she’s cuter that way. Dammit, why am I noticing such little things. I’m really fucked up in the head. *laughs]
“Not fair! Share your thoughts, your laughing on your own” *booing.
“haha. It’s nothing…I just found your more cuter in personal. You’re making me think I’m more older than you.” [she’s 2 years and 5 months older than me though]
“H-hey! Are you saying I don’t act like my age? Meanie, you just can’t stand my cuteness”.
“Haha.. maybe.” Well, what she said there was true.
“hmm. We should change spot I think.” Points her eyes on the crowd.
“yeah, I think so too.” People in the coffee shop are getting crowdy.
“Well then, let’s have some walk?” she stood and held my hands.
Walking with her feels like walking in heaven itself.
I can’t take my smile out of my face as I’m seeing the stare of those asshole fanatics who booed me before, they are sooo feeling jealous at my current position.
*haha. Beat this assholes
“Ever since we left the café your smile has changed. More like a devilish grin, stop bullying my fans, silly.” So she noticed huh? *haha.
“Sorry. I can’t help myself. Haha, I’m so loving the feeling with you.”
“What feeling?” she seemed to be curious with the way she looked at me.
“This cool feeling, whatever it is. Makes me want to be with your side always.”
“You’re in love with me?” she’s teasing
“haha. Who knows? It’s really different, the feeling is with you. Two years ago when we first met I’ve already felt it. That’s why I didn’t leave the stage without you, remember? [lifts her head up]. Well, I just have to hide and pretend I didn’t had that feeling that time because of my ex.”
“Oh…yeah. I remember your ex. Such a great voice she have. Where is she now?”
“She’s gone.”
“oh my gosh! She died?!”
“the hell? No, she’s just literally “gone” like one day when I woke up I can’t find her anymore. Even the band can’t find her.
“that’s weird. Have you searched for her?”
“Yup. It took me almost a year when I gave up.”
“D-don’t tell me, you’re a serial killer who kills your girlfriend without a trace? I-I’m scared…”. Covers her hands with her hands. And wiggled it.
“the hell with that conclusion? Stop seeing CIA series, you’re becoming suspicious.”
“ehe…just kidding. I just want to change topic.”
“Why? You’re being jealous with my ex?.. teehee.”
“N-no! I’m not…I…I just…hate her somehow.”
[well I was shocked when I heard that]
“if she didn’t disappeared and just broke up with you… you could’ve pursued me much earlier…years earlier…”
She’s right… the thought of “still having” a girlfriend thing stopped me from seeing things as they are. If my ex just settled things up and broke up with me, I could’ve searched for Almira earlier. For I know our first meeting is really “big time” for me. Although I kinda forgot about it somehow due to the time and brain damage.
“I-I shouldn’t have said that. she’s still you’re ex somehow. Sorry.”
“No. don’t be sorry. You could say “I hate her” as many times as you want. You can even rent a voodoo guy and cast a spell against her. What ever to express your hatred to her I just don’t care about it anymore.”
“silly. She’s your ex.”
“one hell of an ex though.”
“that makes me want not to be your ex tough
“Don’t worry, when you became my girlfriend I won’t break up with you. And I’ll see to it that you won’t break up me too. How about that? sounds cool?”
“that is…”if” I become your girlfriend”.
“sigh. That’s the thing… tss..”
“it’s really cool to see you look depress. Haha”. [rubbed my hair with her hands.]
“H-hey” [ she still won’t stop ]
“I’m missing this hair, it’s been long when I first saw you, I’m surprised when I saw you the last time, it’s shaved. Glad I can play with you hair now”.
“I-I’m not a floppy dog. Tss.. you’re really good at changing topic”
“what made you accept that you’re ex was gone?”
“huh? what’s it all of a sudden? Thought- oh… well. I just thought she set me free.i just thought she’s thinking it’s best for me. She always thought of what will be better for me. Even if she sacrifice for it sometimes. That’s the kind of girlfriend she was.”
“so…you sound totally different from what you’ve said before. Miyu, she’s kind wasn’t she?”
“yeah…she’s a good person… w-wait, how’d you know her name?”
“two years ago…we’ve talked”.
Huh? that’s right. I remembered she said they talked before.
“it was all about you. Our conversation was. Do you know what she said?”
“W-what is it?”
“I didn’t know she was your girlfriend so I told her I like you. She said though that she was your girlfriend so I apologized. But I’m surprised of what she said…
-can you wait for atleast two years? Two years will be enough, for me to forget, and for me him to recover. If you can wait til that time… she’s all yours then. *she’s smiling that time. The first smile that outshines mine, I felt like I’m not “Amira” that time…”
“so she really planned to leave me anyways…that’s weird.”
“yeah. I think so too. But whatever her reason is. I’m so respecting it”
“But I remember. When you interviewed Cara you said that my ex said something like leave us alone right? She’s the one your talking about right?”
“Yeah…well, I just said it that way because I didn’t like the fact that Miyu outshined me that time…sorry my bad.”
“silly. I never thought you’d do such things. Haha.”
“H-hey. I’ve done it bad. Why you’re still laughing?”
“you really do such crazy things too, good thing though. I’m afraid you will be mad if I accidentally do crazy things to in the future.”
“well, I won’t be mad. If it’s bearable though. I’m not that perfect, I sometimes do stupid things I’m not aware of.” [She grabbed my hair again. She’s so liking it dammit]
“hmm… I’ve already said how I feel the first time I met you two years ago. So how about you? You found me awesome?”
“you? Eew… hahaha.. kidding… well... seriously…”
“yeah? seriously?”
She sighed, and she was like smiling. So different from before, was one of her greatest smile.
“I loved you since the very first time I saw you two years ago. You stand on stage with your guitar and you’re like…like “pls look at me I’m awesome” attitude. It caught my attention very convincingly. And that I ask for your help? It’s just my way to be close to you.”
[ she stopped rubbing my hair and crossed her arms with mine… I remember we were like this before…. Back then, when we went down the stage together *it was a good feeling ]
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